Why Silence Isn’t Always Professional

Safety in the therapy room means being willing to use my voice outside of it.

Anyone who is in the mental health profession at this point has probably been encouraged to be mindful about sharing their personal beliefs in the therapy space and online as a provider.

We were originally told that this was because providers should be neutral and keep personal beliefs out of everything.

But that didn't take into account the potential clients coming from marginalized backgrounds who may already feel unsafe with neutrality. Because let’s be honest: when the world is actively debating your right to exist, a therapist's "neutrality" can feel a lot like complicity.

I don't think being a safe therapist means being silent.

I think activism and advocacy play a major role in what safety looks like in the mental health space.

So let's talk about what safety actually means in therapy.

It starts before you even know a potential client's name.

They're reading about you on your website. They're looking at your Psychology Today. They're observing you on social media and trying to imagine if you could be the person to help them with the thing they are seeking services for.

What you say matters.

What you don't say matters, too.

I encourage anyone who is looking for a new therapy provider to ask the questions that feel important to them when it comes to knowing whether they are walking into a safe and inclusive space.

It is not uncommon for you to find a video on my social media talking about how, if a therapy provider dismisses or refuses to discuss safety, inclusivity, or values that are vital to your well-being, that is an answer in itself.

For providers who understand this, it's not uncommon to find clues and very direct statements about inclusivity in their information about the therapy space.

We also know some of the common phrases that people use to indicate where their values lean. People from marginalized identities often pick up on those things very quickly and choose not to engage with a provider because of them.

And honestly, I think they should.

It's really important for me to be a vocal advocate online because I don't want my clients to spend their first few sessions wondering if I am someone they can actually be themselves and feel safe with.

I want to make it very clear from the beginning that every part of themselves is welcome in the therapy space.

Clients coming into therapy aren't just coming to work on the original presenting concern they vocalize.

They are people living in a world that impacts them.

They are impacted by what's happening around them and in their environment.

Having a safe space to talk about the complications of healthcare, insurance, work, family, discrimination, chronic illness, grief, access to care, and everything else that comes with that are critical aspects of mental health and well-being.

It's impossible to completely separate someone's mental health from the environment they are living in.

I've said this a million times and it will continue to be true:

Sometimes the problem isn't that someone needs better coping skills. Sometimes it's the things around them that need to change.

And sometimes we're struggling with the fact that those things are outside of our control.

Now let's talk about advocacy.

Advocacy is not pressuring my clients into thinking and believing the things that I do.

Advocacy doesn't mean that I am taking over the therapy space with my personal values and beliefs or telling them that their beliefs in certain areas are wrong.

It's about creating a space where clients feel like they don't have to hide parts of themselves because they're worried about how I, as their therapist, would respond.

You don't have to agree with your therapist about everything to feel safe with them.

I do think it is important that you understand and know if your therapist will advocate for you in rooms that you are not in.

That matters.

This is why I am so loud about my advocacy and activism efforts.

I started posting online to help combat misinformation about mental health and help people feel seen and heard for who they are.

My role as a psychologist serves more than just the clients who sit in front of me in a therapy session.

I utilize my platform not only to talk about mental health and reduce stigma, but to advocate for better care, normalize asking for help, and help provide language for experiences that people may not know how to explain.

Often times, people feel alone in their lived experiences, which can have a significant impact on their mental health.

I utilize my voice and my platform to help people understand that they are far from alone.

The injustices of the world are very real.

And I believe we, as mental health professionals, can utilize our platforms to help make the world a better space, one conversation at a time.

I utilize my platform because I live in the Midwest, where not all therapy providers are safe spaces, and that can prevent people from accessing care.

I want people to know that there are therapy providers in their area who value their lives and can listen to their lived experiences without needing an extensive explanation for what it's like to walk a mile in their shoes.

I am allowed to advocate as a psychologist online because I want people to know where I stand before they ever meet me, not because they have to agree with me, but because they deserve to know my commitment to human rights is non-negotiable.

I want them to know that, for me, as a person and a therapy provider, human rights are not up for debate.

Anyone viewing my website, my Psychology Today, or my content will never have to question if they would be safe with me. While I welcome clients from all walks of life and respect diverse worldviews, my commitment to protecting your basic humanity is absolute.

Our profession is more than a standard therapy hour.

Advocacy and activism are a part of our work and our ethical responsibilities. In fact, the ethical principles of psychology demand that we stand up for justice and respect the dignity of all people. Silence in the face of systemic harm isn't ethical; it's just comfortable.

I want my clients to know that they do not have to carry the weight of the fight alone.

I want them to know that their identity is safe to be explored in our shared space.

My clients will know it is safe to express their fear and hurt about the world that they live in and the environment around them.

And I want my clients to know that they can take up as much space as they need without feeling like they need to make themselves smaller to make me, as their therapy provider, more comfortable.

I utilize my voice because advocacy is not separate from my work.

This is a large part of the psychologist that I want to be known as and that I want to be.

My clients are people living in the real world, and what's happening in the world right now is terrifying.

It is important for them to know that they are safe with the person they are trusting with their mental healthcare.

Being a loud advocate and doing my role in activism is about safety.

If you are looking for a therapist, please know this:

You deserve to feel safe with your therapist.

You deserve to know that you can walk into the room as your whole self.

And you deserve a therapist who isn't afraid to use her voice when it matters.

And it always matters.

I created Life Your Way because life truly should be the way you want to live it rather than forcing yourself into a box that society tries to put you in.

Engaging in activism and advocacy is not optional for me as an individual outside of the profession, and especially not as a psychologist within it.

It is part of the psychologist I want to be.

If you are ready to do this work in a space where you never have to leave parts of yourself at the door, I am here. Let’s connect.

Resources for Advocacy, Activism, and Finding Safe Therapy

Therapy with Me: A Safe Space to Be Yourself

Finding a therapist is about more than finding someone who has availability. You deserve to find someone you feel comfortable being honest with, someone who takes your experiences seriously, and someone who welcomes you as your whole self.

As a Kansas City therapist and psychologist by training in health psychology, I believe that creating a safe space for clients means understanding that mental health does not exist in a vacuum. Your identity, healthcare experiences, relationships, environment, and the systems you navigate can all impact your mental health.

In therapy with me, you do not have to hide parts of yourself, minimize your experiences, or worry about making yourself smaller to make me more comfortable. Whether you are navigating anxiety, chronic illness, grief, discrimination, burnout, or the stress of everything happening around you, your experiences deserve to be taken seriously.

I also believe that advocacy is part of creating a safe therapeutic environment. I use my voice outside the therapy room because I want people to know where I stand before they ever walk through my door. You should not have to spend your first few therapy sessions trying to figure out whether you can safely talk about the things that matter most to you.

If you are looking for a therapist in Kansas City, Missouri, or a virtual therapist serving clients throughout Missouri, visit lifeyourway.org to learn more about working with me and get connected for individual therapy.

Please note: I am located in Kansas City, Missouri, and provide therapy services to clients located in Missouri.

Resources for Advocacy, Activism, and Mental Health

The Trevor Project

The Trevor Project provides crisis support and resources for LGBTQ+ young people. Its educational resources also address LGBTQ+ mental health, identity, and ways to support LGBTQ+ communities.

Website: thetrevorproject.org

The Human Rights Campaign

The Human Rights Campaign works to advance LGBTQ+ equality and provides resources about LGBTQ+ rights, inclusion, and advocacy. Its resources can be helpful for people looking to better understand current issues affecting LGBTQ+ communities and learn ways to take action.

Website: hrc.org

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)

NAMI offers mental health education, support resources, and advocacy opportunities. If you want to learn more about mental health policy, access to care, and efforts to improve the mental healthcare system, NAMI is a helpful place to start.

Website: nami.org

Disability Rights Education & Defense Fund (DREDF)

DREDF works to advance the civil and human rights of people with disabilities through legal advocacy, education, and public policy work. Its resources can help people understand disability rights and the barriers people may experience when accessing healthcare and other services.

Website: dredf.org

Books About Advocacy, Activism, and Social Change

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

This book explores conversations about race, racism, privilege, and systemic inequality. It offers readers ways to better understand these topics and engage in difficult conversations.

The Sum of Us by Heather McGhee

This book examines how racism and policies that divide communities can affect society as a whole. It explores the ways people can work toward a more equitable future.

Pleasure Activism by Adrienne Maree Brown

This book explores the connections between personal well-being, community care, and social change. It offers a different perspective on activism and the importance of building sustainable ways to care for ourselves and others while working toward change.

Finding a Therapist Who Feels Safe for You

If you are looking for a therapist, it is okay to ask questions before scheduling an appointment. You can ask about a provider's experience working with your concerns, their approach to inclusive care, and how they understand the impact of identity, discrimination, or healthcare experiences on mental health.

Pay attention to how they respond. You deserve to feel comfortable asking questions and making an informed decision about who you trust with your mental healthcare.

You do not need to find a therapist who agrees with you about every single thing. You do deserve someone who treats you with respect, takes your experiences seriously, and creates space for you to be yourself.

If you are looking for a Kansas City therapist who values advocacy, inclusive care, and the connection between mental health and the world we live in, learn more about therapy with me at lifeyourway.org.